Has anyone in the history of Walmart shoppers…

…ever walked out with just these five items?

  • two bottles of Quaker State 10W30 motor oil
  • one bottle of Welch’s sparkling cranberry juice
  • one microwavable Bob Evans mashed potatoes (package says it’s good for four to six people, which means I will have the whole thing in one sitting, most likely breakfast)
  • one Equate brand (Walmart house brand) knockoff of Poise pads

I imagine not. I went in just for the motor oil but saw the sparkling cranberry juice and mashed potatoes (impulse buys), then recalled that the most maximumest maxipads are no longer working, and when I get up in the morning I drip urine in the hallway before making it to the bathroom, and I went to the bladder protection aisle.

I have two enormous uterine fibroids resting right on my bladder, and my ob/gyn assures me things will be better after an upcoming hysterectomy (on hold while I have cancer treatment). I told her how bad this urine problem makes me feel, and she kindly said, “It’s not a moral failure. It’s mechanical.”

That made me laugh for some reason. But for the meantime, until I have that hysterectomy and these giant things get plucked off my bladder and out of my body, I have to Swiffer my hallway and bathroom every day, and I am buying Walmart knockoff Poise pads with the hope I don’t dribble pee on the way to the bathroom when I wake up.

For now, I am not having slumber parties. Don’t ask if you can sleep over. Love to all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s